[Scott]

...you have a convert. As long as you are NOT He who Must not be Named. 

You don't find that out until the end.

[Resch]

I enjoyed this one much more than IWAL. Very good stuff.

A few nitpicks that caught my eye:

- page 3, "More odd was the cresset without"; I thought "without" needed some complement, but discovered it also means "outside", I don't know if this is common knowledge to you natives, but I had to grab the dictionary, it might seem a little awkward to us foreigners
- later on, "Towards Hanson he held a flat palm in an obvious signal that we was not to enter"; I guess it should be "he"?
- then "Finding myself in the man's presence I was quick to understand why he inspired tall tales (...)"; shouldn't there be a comma after "presence"?
- page 6, "(...)Proctor Manley will be returned to Deerfield shortly"; sounds as if he was kidnapped or something, wouldn't "returning" be more fitting?
- page 7, "I do not know it got to be there"; isn't this missing a "how" or "when" etc.?

[Hector]

The use of without to mean outside is rarely used these days, but back then may well have been commonplace.  That said, without is also the opposite of within, so it does make some sense.

[caster]

This was very good. I like it very much. Excellent atmosphere and feeling of "that time" transcending into something creepy, oppressive and then culminates very properly.
Excellent piece of writing.

Otherwise i completely agree with galsiah about the need to have some important info presented through texts in the game, to make it even desirable to read them thoroughly.

By all means give a simplified version in the journal with any obvious/direct conclusions. That doesn't preclude the inclusion in the long version of cryptic hints, clues, side-quest-significant-asides, information which seems irrelevant/tangential at the time (so doesn't make it into a journal), but is useful knowledge in future encounters/investigations.... It'd be fine for most of any such information to be available elsewhere too. Even where the player already happens to have some useful piece of information, seeing that a long passage contains (some cryptic reference to) it, will be satisfying: it shows that the passage has been skilfully woven into the fabric of the gameplay, and that it might well be worth reading future passages to unearth other information.

Your main purpose in writing such passages might be to draw the reader in to the setting/mood. That's fine. However, the more you can weave together the functional and aesthetic elements in the same writing, the better.

this-

[catmorbid]

I found this piece a very good Lovecraftian short story. I liked it, and it definitely had the Lovecraft feel in it. And the fact that you intend these stories to be part of the game somehow, like journals found by the character etc. makes it even better. I won't comment on the language, since I'm not a native english speaker, but it did sound "right" to me, as in it didn't feel out of place or anything.

[One Wolf]

Not only is the language "right" from a technical standpoint, but Scott uses out of date words that would have been in use during that time period.  I've said so already but I'll say so again: well done and well written.

EDIT:  Write more, damn you.  It's been like forever.

[Vince]

Write more, damn you.  It's been like forever.

[Scott]

I've got three different short stories half finished, but none of them are relevant to the game or would be included therein.  Not to say I wouldn't post them, if they were done.  Which they are not.

TCMMM seems to be the runaway favourite on the forums, but I still don't know why.  It's definitely not my favourite, not even in the top three.

[One Wolf]

Nor is it mine.  I thought First Mate's Account/Lombardy's Journal were both exceptional.

I think you should post whatever you write, even if it winds up in general discussion.  Just give me more.

[Gauntt]

Scott how is the writing coming along... Are you spending a lot more time on AoD now that the demo is so close?

How about an opening paragraph to whet the appetite?

[Scott]

The writing comes and goes.  I had three different stories percolating, one of which was at least in the realm of being finished, but I don't think any of them are brilliant.  But what I find is if I put the writing down for several weeks, I'll be reading a book completely unlike the genre in question and ideas will start pounding at the securely fastened chamber of my brain.  I always have a pen and paper nearby, and as a result I recently started on a fourth story, one that won't be very long, but which I've already plotted out beginning, middle and end, in my head.  (And I've actually started writing it too)

Clockwork
My first encounter with the watchmaker was at the old shop on Hauptstrasse.  My friend Sigmund and I had for many weeks taken a lengthy detour to the schoolhouse every morning to press our faces against the tiny panes of leaded glass, but had so far observed nothing more than the back of a cracked leather curtain.  Even in my father’s time no one had tenanted there, and the ancient fieldstone building gave an impression of sagging everywhere, as if in despair of the newly cobbled streets and its smart redbrick neighbours.  Common wisdom accepted it as the oldest surviving structure in town, but even the owner’s identity was a matter of dispute.

Whoever had decided to bless Weiz with his business had offered nothing to the gossips, a smart strategy for drawing young men to his door.  I was quietly hoping for a confectioner, or better, a gunsmith.

[caster]

moar?