[Scott]

Cyclopean Dialogue Adventures:  Professor Lombardy

This one features the author of Professor Lombardy's Journal.

The goal here is to stimulate Cyclopean fans with more dialogue.  Although I have dozens of dialogue files to choose from, I have to settle for ones that are reasonably simple to implement in the app.  Note that it is possible by taking a certain path to complete PL's quest without him telling you what he wants.

See the first CDA for more info on application.

Comments welcome.

[Vince]

Cool stuff!

Constructive criticism:

- Some options appear to lead nowhere, resulting in the professor ignoring you.
- The professor doesn't sound as insane as the image created in your original text, which was superb.
- some options are too RPG-ish: "Tell me more about what you've been doing in your lab?" - doesn't sound very natural.
- The response to that line is too logical. We need more "absolute mathematics".
- "Tell me what you want to discover" is also too-gamey.

Overall, the dialogue doesn't match the text.

Maybe:

"Finally you've showed up! Now the work will go much faster. Here!" He gives you bloody remains of a small animal. "Start drawing the runes."

1. "Who are you?"
2. Do your best drawing runes
3. "What runes?"

"What runes? What do you mean what runes? I spent the last two months teaching you the runes and now you ask me... Give me that!" Lombardi furiously grabs the remains, sending blood splatters all over you. "If you can't remember such simple things, how can you hope to understand an absolute mathematics? Imbecile!"

1. "An absolute mathematics?"
2. "Can you show me the runes again, master?"
3. "I think you are confusing me with someone else."

Etc.

[suibhne]

Fantastic character art when you expand it, but the thumbnail loses the wonderful detail on the chalkboard and even some of the insane glare in his eyes.

Can't wait to peruse the Flash file later.

[caster]

Looks fine to me but maybe also take Vince suggestion into consideration.
Doesnt sound bad either.
And if he is insane it could be worth it to expand a bit on that.

I kinda liked how professor sometimes stops paying attention to you.

btw when he stops talking to me is dialogue window going to disappear or will we remain in dialogue window as it is in this example?

Maybe it would be more effective if dialogue window disappears and professor continues to mumble something in dialogue pop ups over his head.

Are those pop ups going to be used? I find them a powerful little trick that adds a lot to atmosphere and makes NPCs look like they are thinking and generally going about their business without interaction with me - which is a good thing.



Also the font seems really small and its hard for me to read it without getting much closer to the screen.
Have you considered other color set ups for dialogue wndow?

That background pic is awesome.

[Vince]

The new picture is much better.

[Oscar]

I like the new picture, though I don't fully like the direction his eyes are looking. I think it would look better if he looks more towards the center in the same way.

[Scott]

btw when he stops talking to me is dialogue window going to disappear or will we remain in dialogue window as it is in this example?

The app is something simple I wrote for convenience and doesn't reflect (eventual) in game design.

Are those pop ups going to be used? I find them a powerful little trick that adds a lot to atmosphere and makes NPCs look like they are thinking and generally going about their business without interaction with me - which is a good thing.

If you mean the written action descriptions in (), thn yes.  I'm thinking that having text in grey would work good to differentiate actions from dialogue.

That background pic is awesome.

Once I have some more art, I'll be displaying the color version.  So watch out.

[caster]

I meant something like combat taunts from fallout.   ----yes, I like those too  /Scott
Or text that appears over heads of NPcs in Witcher.
Cant remember the correct name for it right now for the life of me.

-edit- floating bloody text...
 hmmm...

Once I have some more art, I'll be displaying the color version.  So watch out.

Watching out mode enabled 

The app is something simple I wrote for convenience and doesn't reflect (eventual) in game design.

ok.

[Ellorien]

Too bad I don't have Firefox... 

----you don't need Firefox, Flash Player is available with any browser.  Did you check out the original thread on this app?  What are you using anyway, Netscape 2.0? [Scott]

[Vince]

Yeah, too bad. Hey, listen, I think I have an extra copy somewhere. I paid 120 bucks for it, but you can have it for 50. What do you say?

[Ellorien]

Yeah, too bad. Hey, listen, I think I have an extra copy somewhere. I paid 120 bucks for it, but you can have it for 50. What do you say?

Canadian dollars?  How about exchange? I have an extra copy of Shockwave Player (paid $100 on E-bay).

[caster]

I can send you mine for 49.99...

- like the new portrait better too-

[Scott]

@Vince:  I like those suggestions.

I don't have much difficulty getting prose stories out, but writing dialogue I find myself constantly slipping back into the standard PC questions/NPC responses, ie. ask for quest, ask for details, ask for money, etc.

Naturally, I try to keep the writing exciting and fun, but in a lot of cases I'm going to have to go back once the staples are in and mix it up a bit.  I especially want to have NPCs asking questions, some of which the player might not want to answer, and driving conversations.

[Vince]

I don't have much difficulty getting prose stories out, but writing dialogue I find myself constantly slipping back into the standard PC questions/NPC responses, ie. ask for quest, ask for details, ask for money, etc.

I've noticed. You are a hell of a writer, but I guess you have some kinda block (that sends you into a different direction) when it comes to writing questions, and the questions affect the answers. Influenced too much by decades of playing RPGs, perhaps? I had the same problem and it took me awhile to overcome it.

Forget that you're making an RPG. Forget about the player and his robotic questions. Just conjure the scene (I guess like you do when you're writing your beautiful prose) in your mind and write it down. You jump to fast to "find that page". You find a crazy guy, he asks you to find a missing page from some book, you say "aye, cap'n!" and add a quest to your journal. Too game-y.

First of all, what page? How would I recognize it? It would make more sense to ask you to find another copy of the book (and then maybe you find a missing page somewhere else, as an alternative solution).

Second, I'd prefer if you'd generate some interest in the PC first and have him/her offer to find the missing page/another book because he/she is hooked. I want to be given enough info, but in a subtle way, to want it badly. Badly enough to consider killing the professor and finishing the ritual.

Have you watched The Ninth Gate, by any chance?

[Scott]

Have you watched The Ninth Gate, by any chance?

No I haven't.  I see now that I had that film confused with From Hell, which I did make an effort to see.

In my own defense, Lombardy isn't my best or most complicated dialogue.  I chose it because it relates to prose on the forum, and because of its (relative) ease of translation to the app.  Down the road I think I'll post stuff in .pdf format.  I use TAB spaces and numbered responses to keep the options sorted out.  It shouldn't be hard to follow.